April 15, 2025
9am- Deep down I have been struggling a lot this past month. I have been feeling no sense of purpose here, feeling the weight of the darkness all around me, and just dying for my family. This place feels so stagnant. It’s depressing and dark. When I wake up my family and boyfriend goes to sleep. When I go to sleep, they wake up. It’s a never ending cycle of phone tag. I just want to be back home with my people and my church. I want to look the people I love in the eyes again. I want to hold the hands of the people I love again. I have 22 days left. Ministry is really slow as we are helping an organization start. We have too many people to be helping with the organization so we are often interceding most of the day in our house where people can’t see us. I feel like I’m crawling to the finish line but I want to be finishing strong. I know the Lord can strengthen me and lift me up so I am going to keep trying. I know what He is capable of and I know He can do it for me.He gave me this verse a few weeks ago that has really pushed me forward. 2 Timothy 4:7 “For I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” I really felt like he was encouraging me with this and I am so thankful.
11am-1pm I decided to go do my favorite thing which is to play the piano and so I went to play the keyboard in our basement. I was playing hymns and singing to God crying for Him to fill me up and make me whole again and also to give me more ministry opportunities. I was praying and singing praises to God and he filled me up just like He always does. I love Him so much.
5pm- I came to the mall with my ministry team to do whatever we needed to do, so I decided to work on the Honduras trip this summer. I’m sitting in Starbucks and I hear the “because He lives I can face tomorrow” hymn being played on a piano. I look up and there is a man playing with his Bible also sitting on the piano. I instantly start crying because one, you never hear Jesus songs anywhere here and two these are the exact songs God put on my heart to play this morning. God just blew my mind! I sat there in awe listening to him praise Jesus in public. I decided to go talk to him and He is a Christian and told me He only plays hymns and worship songs because people do not know the words. I told him how I was really struggling this morning and he reminded me that this isn’t a coincidence and that God is showing me He loves me so much and hears me. I was also the first American he has talked to and his English was perfect! Also!! God gave me two ministry opportunities! I get to share my testimony at a youth group and I also get to take a Muslim girl my age to get coffee and talk about Jesus. I am so thankful. God really shows up every time.
God blessed me so much today and really encouraged me to stay strong. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He hold the future and life is just worth the living because He lives!! He is El Roi the God who sees me and Elohim Shama the God who hears me.
I really hope this doesn’t come off as me complaining! I truly am so blessed and thankful for everything He is doing here, this is just my heart right now. Thank you for everyone who prays for me. I could not thank you enough! You guys bless me so much. Here are the songs he was playing!
it won’t let me upload the videos I wanted unfortunately..my point is God is so good to me!
Clara, I love every word here. The same scripture was part of my devotion this morning. The Spirit has directed me to pray exactly in the areas of need you described. Would you believe even before you entered this new country??? It was like a spiritual vision of darkness that you would be entering, an entire new challenge and the Spirit was preparing the way and yoking believers together to carry the burden as a united body of Christ in prayer. Praise God you have only 22 more days, but stay alert! I am praying as I type this that the Spirit keeps your spiritual eyes open and quiets the distraction of your mind and soul, so that you can continue int he good work that God prepared for you. Remember your friend and co-heir Jesus is right alongside you, you are empowered by the Spirit and Almighty God has already won the battle!!!
I love you so much and super proud of you love ❤️ you are almost done
My precious Clarita, i posted but it got lost! I said you know this makes me wish I could hold you in my arms and kiss you , and laugh with you! I would even do your truth or dare! But I can’t so I asked our God to do it for me and He was so happy to! He is so thankful that you have been His hands and feet for 9 months! And because He lives, and because of your testimony, so many people will live with us in heaven. I could not be more proud of you! I can’t imagine the darkness you have to be in right now but I do know His light in you shines through that darkness. Just a little while until I do get to squeeze you and I can’t wait! I love you so very much and praying this time will go quickly for you. Well done His good and faithful servant! I love you.